Toby Kell-Ogg is descended from the Quel family, ancient French nobility who came to this country with William the Conqueror.
The Kell in Kell-Ogg of course, is an Anglicised version of Quel which, as all students of French will know, literally translates as ‘what’.
The other side of the Kell-Ogg union – brought about in 1342, when Viscomte Egberte du Quel married Lady Boadicea Ogg – is even older.
It is now believed that the Ogg’s, who were certainly Vikings, could trace their lineage back to the Bronze Age and before.
Indeed, the shortened ‘O’ sound in Ogg is thought to be a stone age grunt for the very first definite article
In other words, in early grunt, ‘O’ meant ‘the’. And the ‘Ger’ sound in ‘Gg’ is thought to be pre-historic slang for ‘fornicate’, an activity of which men and women of this period – pre personal computer, remember - were particularly fond.
To sum up, the combined, Norman/Caveman meaning of Kell-Ogg is ‘what the f…..”
Toby Kell-Ogg, who has a full head of hair, is 35.Footnote: It is actually recorded in The Doomsday Book that Viscomte Egberte du Quel and his legendarily beautiful bride, Lady Boadicea Ogg – inherited traces of whose stunning bone structure can still be seen in the face of Appollonia Kell-Ogg, Toby’s daughter, and perhaps even more so in his own – were toasted at their marriage with ‘a bevrij of muche thickenesse and yelonesse’ specially created by their parish rabbi who they later had burnt at the stake. The couple, who were much loved by their serfs, became popularly known as Eg n’ Ogg and this term of affection later metamorphosed into the name by which this drink is now known.
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